If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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