Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
how does that bad decision feel?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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