Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
