She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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