The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
