Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
two words...techno handjob
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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