nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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