walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
