Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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