my sisters under your porch take her home
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
