He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
