I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I love you. Go after that dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
