you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
