My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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