i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
