Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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