Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you had me at cake vodka
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
