I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
