I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
