I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
