In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The best revenge is premature balding
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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