This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
