Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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