I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
