We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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