halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
