mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
