absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just invented taco cereal.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
