I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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