On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
