3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
