idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
