I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
