and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
