Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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