is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
