whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
