Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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