My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
