Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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