Can Purell be used as lube?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
