I'm so fucking centered right now
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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