Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
worst night to have a conscience
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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