he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
