I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize