Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
