idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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