he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
my poor anus
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
