I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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