Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
