So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i think i have two assholes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
