i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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