FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
