Whod you bang
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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