Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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