Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
