I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
