just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize