I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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