well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
