So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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