I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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