I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I could fuck to npr.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
