Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
