I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
