i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
