That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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