ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
