I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
