you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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