Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize