When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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