your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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