i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
