wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
