plz talk dirty to me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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