he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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