Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
